Friday, 24 February 2012

Inhibited to go fetish shopping? Phils experience

Over the past few months I've realised, through various friends, that even people who's interested in leather and different fetishes in general, might feel inhibited to go shopping there for the first and or first time. Some people I know have admitted to do Internet shopping just because they feel "shy" to go by themselves. Most of them having signs of fear to be judged.

While for some, people this might look stupid. I think this is a common feeling and there's nothing to feel shy about. Remember, store owners are there to help and not to judge. The stupid thing from them would be to judge and making customers feel uncomfortable. That would slowly kill their business.

A couple of months ago, a lovely guy called Phil messaged me on scruff regarding this matter. He was interested on "all this" but he never dared to go shopping by himself. As a true believer that "big changes come in small steps", I couldn't avoid to refuse. After all, I had someone who drove me to that same store a while ago for the first time, and why not, maybe Phil will do the same for another guy in the future, and so on.

We haven't met in the flesh before, and we agreed to meet at expectation's entrance in London. As I always told him, the staff is there to help. I have always found very kind staff at leather stores I must say. Phil admitted that when he first messaged me, the didn't expect any interest or reply, but why wouldn't I? Hehehe...

One of the things that surprised me is that he was really comfortable at the store. He didn't stop asking questions (some about practices in BDSM, and we exchanged personal experiences too) and apologised several times for asking things. But we all start somewhere Phil! Hehehe...

Lately, I've been loving my fetish totally open I think, but he made me realise people still sees this in a weird way (sometimes I forget it hehe...). When he told a gay friend he was coming to visit expectations with me, his friend told him to be careful with me (I reckon for what he explained obviously, that he's not into leather). I must admit, I'm a bad boy, but only when it comes to sex, otherwise just a furry baby bear hehehe...

Funny enough when I posted what I was doing on the net, I got many messages stating the same "fear" to the fetish stores. To all of them just a quick message "as more normal we see it, as more normal people sees it too". Staff will always treat you well, is their business after all, and never be ashamed of asking questions, suggestions and opinions. Wear what makes you feel sexy. There's nothing wrong with that, and no rules that determine what each one should wear or not. Each one has different perception of what leather means to them so don't worry.

Yesterday I received another message by a Spanish guy living abroad. For respect of his privacy, I can't tell his name but something shocked me. He told me he wondered why being "a normal guy" he was feeling attracted for leather and SM experiences. I thought to myself, "that's why, because you're a NORMAL GUY" hehehe...

No need to feel guilty about it but feel proud instead! EVERYONE has little fetishes inside. That's just normal. There's no need in living them in an open way if your friends are not into them. But life is short, make the most of it!

It delighted to see that in the end, Phil ended up with the same leather jocks I bought the first time I visited expectations. At least we had a great afternoon! He couldn't wait home to try them on and he admitted being looking forward to come back for more. Congratulations Phil, the leather beast inside you is awake! Welcome to our community!


  1. I remember my first experience in a leather store in Dublin Ireland and it was not long after I came out, I decided to purchase a pair of leather jeans. When I went to the store, I walked around outside nervously peering into the window of the shop with all leather in the window, trying to pluck up the courage to go in. I took me two visits before I actually walked in the door, the shop assistant smiled as if he was expecting me. Luckily it was empty just me and him, I explained what I wanted and he smiled, first time he said, and I said yeah so he measured me and got a few pairs to try on. The smell in the store was releasing the animal in me. I knew this was where I wanted to this day when I put on my jeans I remember the virginal leather on my body and smile. Never looked back since, still have the first jeans and wear them often. Phil welcome to the leather community as I'm so proud to be a leather and other fetishes man. Thanks for sharing this Kilker, hope it allows more to pluck up the courage and walk tall in the sexy hot leathers ;-P

  2. I recall my first time in Regulation , I was overwhelmed by forstly the choice, then the aroma of all the stock in there.I too, felt nervous as if I didnt measure up to what a rubberman(or leather man ) was supposed to look like.I dont have the muscular build and lacked any confidence.I didnt conform to a standard Gay leather /rubber man.I think that there is always that initial nervousness that one wont fit in, its like joining a club for the first time and wondering whether others will let you in on their "lifestyle" so to speak.I look at someone that looks like you and immediately think that someone that looks like you wouldnt ever be interested in someone like me?

  3. I can crelate to the experience, feeling that I had to have enough "experience" before I could feel comfortable interacting with the store managers. It was similar to the first time I visite d the leather bars in NYC in my 20's. I need the help of someone more experienced, someone that i could trsut. Great effort, mate, in helping your brotehr feel comfortable in his own BDSM (leather) skin. Woof.